Last year, when Em was ready to make the transition to a “big girl” bed, we decided she would inherit Calvin’s bedroom set and he would be upgraded to a brand new loft bed.

There are many wonderful benefits to having a loft bed in a 7-year-old’s room. For example:

1) It frees up a lot of floor space, making even a small room feel, well, roomier. This is advantageous because there is more carpeted square-footage upon which to scatter one’s action figures, Legos, and puzzles.

2) When you are seven, there are only two words that adequately describe what it is to have to shimmy up a ladder to get into your bed; to be able to peep over the side and look down at anyone entering your domicile from a perspective that makes them appear tiny and insignificant, like ants; and to sleep mere inches from the ceiling: IT ROCKS.

However, it does have a few noteworthy disadvantages, which I thought I would list here for parents who may be considering the purchase of a bed with an aerial view for their own child:

1) Changing the bedding is a pain. Even if your child does a passable job of changing the bedding on a regular, floor-level bed, they may find their skills severely hampered when asked to perform this same task in their loft bed — as our son did.

There is a possibility that, at least for a time, you will be the one who has to lumber up to the top rung of the ladder, causing the entire loft to creak and shift under the weight of your non-Peter Pan-like body as you peel back the layers of bedding; you will probably strain something as you try to reach the furthest corner of the bed without having to climb all the way into it; then you will have to repeat the entire process when the bedding has been laundered and must be snugly re-fit onto the mattress.

You will often forget that the loft bed needs to be re-made until moments before your son’s bedtime, and will find yourself panting and groaning and sweating to make the bed ready while your son bounces around the room below like a gazelle on speed, gleefully happy that you cannot send him to bed until your arduous task is completed.

2) If your child comes down with the stomach virus in the middle of the night, the bed and bedding will be sprayed with sick as the he sits up in bed and belatedly tries to direct his vomit over the side railing (for reasons that can only be attributed to self-preservation). When the sick hits the floor from a greater height, the splatter area will be extensive enough to include not only a wide swath of the carpet below, but also the recliner that fits so nicely beneath the space-saving loft. Midnight clean-up will require a wet vac, a heavy duty washing machine, and a Hazmat suit.

3) Changing bedding that is heavy and dripping with sick is not only a pain, it may cause Post Traumatic Stress Disorder. (I will be watching Mr. Husband carefully for symptoms.)

We did take #1 into consideration when weighing the pros and cons of a loft bed before plunking down our money, schlepping it home, and assembling it in Cal’s room. But I must confess that we didn’t even entertain the possibility of #2, much less understand its cataclysmic nature, until it happened. Last night.

Other than those minor drawbacks, we’re thrilled with the purchase of a loft bed for our son, and give it a hearty, double thumbs-up of recommendation. [Forced, cheerful smiling with lots of exclamation points!!!]

*Alternate post titles:
- “My Husband, My Hero: True Love is Volunteering To Clean It Up”
- “In Which Calvin Again Applies James 1:2 to Having the Stomach Flu”
- “It Will Take Years of Therapy And Healing Before I Can Talk About The Smell, And I Didn’t Even Venture Past the Hallway”